Is Your Washington DC Therapist Right For You?

A Washington DC Therapist’s Guide To Setting You Up For Therapeutic Success!

Written By: Andrea Bernad-Barnola, LPC

Recently, I got a call from a prospective client who wanted to switch therapists. They explained that they felt uncomfortable discussing certain topics and weren't making the progress they expected. After a few sessions working with me, they noticed a significant difference—they were more comfortable sharing, felt like no topic was vetoed and started making progress again. I share this story not to emphasize my therapy skills (just kidding!), but to highlight a common situation that comes up in finding the right therapy match.

This post is designed to help you identify when therapy is working for you and when you might be ready for a change. As a client, knowing what to expect can help you make informed and better decisions during your therapeutic journey.

Step 1: Picking The Practice Of Best Fit

Try not to just trust your insurance page suggesting a list of pictureless names, and phone numbers. Therapy is a highly personal, tailored experience – do your research to make sure it’s the right fit!

When choosing which therapy practice to work with, assess if the practice’s website has the following elements:

• Therapists bios and photos.

  • Because you want to get a sense of who you’ll be meeting with for therapy before your first session!

• A therapeutic niche.

  • The same way that medical doctors don’t serve all patients’ ages for every ailment throughout their lives, it is rare for a medium-sized therapy practice to (effectively) serve all ages, conduct every modality of therapy, do individual therapy, couples counseling, family sessions, and master all types of counseling approaches. You want to find a practice that focuses on your age-range and mental health needs to ensure the treatment and therapist is specialized in your individual needs.

• Values that resonate with you.

  • A practice’s values should be spelled out or evident from looking at their website.. These values should represent what the people working for that practice believe in, and the values its clinicians adhere to., If you want your therapist to resonate with you, the company values should resonate with you as well!

• Offers “specialty modalities” that require the therapist to get trained beyond their formal graduate education. This is not strictly necessary but can give you a hint on how growth-oriented your therapist (and the practice) is.

Step 2: Set Appropriate Expectations For Your First Few Sessions

The following are completely normal aspects of early therapy sessions. Identify if these things have happened for you, and be on the lookout for a therapist to engage you in some of these more practical elements of those first few sessions, such as goal setting and being curious about who you are and what’s bringing you to counseling at this time. What to expect when you start therapy 101:

• Feeling nervous

  • Feeling anxious or nervous about opening up to your therapist is normal! We all have gone through it. This would be temporary and should subside within a few therapy sessions as you get familiar with your therapist and build rapport.

• Asking personal questions

  • Yes, it is normal for your counselor to ask you questions about your family of origin, sexual orientation, and even sexual life, as long as it is appropriate and tied to your goals. If something feels out of limits or uncomfortable, trust your gut and speak up. Like in any human relationship, therapy is a dance between two people and you have to be able to set limits and guide the relationship with your therapist. Your therapist would never, however, get into your personal life in ways that cross a privacy boundary (for example, going out for lunch with you, attending family events, or other private celebrations).

• Clarity on confidentiality

  • The counselor should always explain confidentiality and its limits. You deserve to be explained about instances in which confidentiality might need to be broken, like to protect yourself or others from harm.

• Goal setting

  • Goals or focus areas are established within the first few sessions with your therapist. How would you know how much you are moving towards your goal if you don’t set the direction first? You deserve to be part of this process and to set your own goal(s). Remember that you are the expert on yourself, don’t let your therapist pick your priorities for you!

• Willingness to share credentials

  • Licensed therapists should be able and willing to show their credentials and official license from their state licensure board. Be suspicious of any therapists who are hesitant to share them or claim to be a life coach who “can also do therapy” (yes, these are out there, be weary!).

Now, I know what you are thinking. Is the lack of any of these elements a direct red flag? I would say no, but I would ask your therapist to clear the confusion if you are legitimately questioning any of the above, especially the credentialing piece.

Step 3: Evaluate Communication and Interaction (Do We Click?)

Your therapist holds an incredibly unique role and relationship in your life, it’s worth investigating how you feel about your interactions and communication with them. It should feel professional, yet empathetic – and most importantly, unbiased and objective (and that is why we rely on therapists, and not our friends, to help us with our mental health). And yes, therapy will feel amazing some days, but it is normal to feel some discomfort along the way for the sake of conquering stuckness and making progress towards goals.

How do I know if the interaction with my therapist is going as it should? Let’s review what is normal and some gut feelings to pay attention to during therapy:

• Crying during session

  • I tell clients who are very self-conscious about crying in session that they are “crying all the tears they weren’t allowed to shed growing up”. Therapy is the right space for it, let it all out! Even therapists might tear up with you occasionally. We are in the business of connecting – and shared pain hurts less.

• Feeling slightly dysregulated after a session

  • Therapy is a process in which your emotions and past experiences can get a little shaken up. Allow yourself a few minutes after the session to ground yourself before returning to your regular activities, and practice self-care on that day if you can. It will help you solidify what you learned in session and give you a sense of control over the process.

• Getting non-judgmental responses

  • The counselor should not be judging or criticizing your feelings or actions, nor telling you that you should feel or not feel a certain way. The therapy space should be a safe and understanding one, shouldn't it? We get enough judgment outside of the therapist's office walls. If you feel judged, speak up and clear the air, hopefully it is all a misunderstanding.

• Respecting your beliefs

  • Your therapist will (as any human being) have their own opinions in regards to religion, politics and other social matters. However, those should not be imposed or used under “personal advice” pretenses. If you feel like you need to avoid a topic or that your beliefs are being questioned by your therapist, you might not have found the right one for you.

Wrapping Up…

This is in no way an exhaustive guide, but I hope that the above-mentioned help you gauge if your counseling relationship is on the right track, and make some courageous choices around how to proceed. Remember, progress is gradual and requires patience, don’t try to rush it! Trust your instincts if something feels off and to share your concerns with your therapist if you are comfortable doing so. A good professional will step up their game and address them, a great one would never ignore or dismiss them.

However, if you are ready for a change and are looking for a counselor that fully gets you, understands the issues of your generation and is growth-minded, TSG is here to help.