5 Ways You Can Support LGBTQ+ Loved Ones as an Ally
Written By: Linsi Grose, LICSW LCSW
As we enter into the month of June communities all around the world will begin to celebrate Pride month. It is a commemoration of the 1969 Stonewall riots and advocacy to work towards equal justice and equal opportunity for the LGBTQ+ community. Much progress has been made, but we still have a long way to go. You can do your part by becoming an ally. You are already taking action to educate yourself.
Let’s Start With Some FAQs from an LGBTQIA+ Therapist in DC
What does LGBTQ+ stand for? It stands for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and more”. The acronym can vary depending on the community to represent the many identities on the queer spectrum.
What is the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? Sexual orientation refers to who a person is attracted to. Gender identity is how someone identifies or their internal sense of gender. Every single person has their own sexual orientation and identity. There is no right or wrong way to define either. Everyone may choose to define and express their orientation and identity differently. It is important to not make assumptions about anyone's gender or identity journey.
5 Ways to Start Being an Ally:
1. ) Supporting Someone When They Come Out to You
For many people, maybe even you, when someone they love comes out to them it can bring up a range of emotions. It can evoke a variety of feelings from confusing, awkward, concerning and an honor. Coming out takes a huge amount of courage and can sometimes be more difficult than continuing to keep their orientation and/or identity to themselves.
You can be a support by creating a loving, trusting space so your loved one knows it is safe to come out to you by publicly showing support of LGBTQ+ issues through conversation, posting on social media, and gaining more knowledge through resources such as movies, blogs, books, etc.
It can be helpful to think of the person “inviting you in” rather than “coming out”. They are inviting you in to witness who they truly are, and giving you the opportunity to be part of their life. When being invited into someone’s true experience it is an honor to be celebrated and protected.
Keep in mind that they are sharing this with you because they trust you. Know that every LGBTQ+ person’s experience of coming out is different and in their own time. It is important to give them the space to come out in their own way and avoid “outing” them. This takes the decision making out of their hands which can be really hurtful.
2.) Normalize Pronouns
Don’t assume you know someone else’s pronouns. Ask! You can show support by including your pronouns on social media platforms and email signatures to name a few. You can introduce yourself including your pronouns when meeting new friends or colleagues. Begin to implement inclusive language within your day-to-day conversations.
Know that you won’t always get it perfect, and that is okay! The biggest piece is showing you are trying.
3.) Be an Advocate
Gain knowledge on the issues that the LGBTQ+ community faces. Mention these issues to your LGBTQ+ loved ones to start the dialogue and show your support.
Post your support of the LGBTQ+ community on social media.
Join pro-LGBTQ+ groups and causes online and in person. The DC Center and Human Rights Campaign to name a few!
Stand up for LGBTQ+ rights and issues in every area of your life. Even when your loved one isn’t around!
4.) Respect Boundaries
Everyone is at a different place in what they are comfortable sharing. Ask and learn more about what your LGBTQ+ loved ones and friends boundaries are.
Certain topics should not be discussed without their initiation first. The most powerful way you can be an ally is showing up with respect and curiosity.
5.) Educate yourself
As mentioned in the beginning of this post, by educating yourself you are already on your way to being an ally for your LGBTQ+ loved ones and friends. Check out The HRC Foundation for additional resources.
You can read or listen to LGBTQ+ publications. A few ideas I suggest as an LGBTQIA+ therapist in Washington, DC:
The Gay Agenda: A Modern Queer History and Handbook
By: Ashley Molesso and Chessie Needham
By: Alok Vaid- Menon
Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle
Take Pride in Becoming an Ally
Showing up as an ally is an act of love and support. Take pride in your own journey toward becoming an ally. The path toward becoming an ally is not linear, and certainly doesn’t have a definitive “end point”, be open to what the journey holds for you, and support your LGBTQ+ loved ones during Pride, and beyond by taking steps toward becoming an ally, or strengthening your allyship.
Consider Talking with an LGBTQ+ Therapist in Washington, DC
I hope this guide helps you understand how to support your LGBTQ+ loved ones effectively. Being an ally is a continuous journey of learning and advocating for the LGBTQ+ community. If you're ready to take the next step in becoming a stronger ally, consider professional guidance. At The Sterling Group in Washington, DC, we offer support and resources to help you on this path. Follow these steps to get started:
Contact us for a complimentary consultation.
Schedule your first session with one of our LGBTQIA+ therapists.
Start your journey towards becoming a better ally and supporting your LGBTQ+ loved ones.
Counseling Services Offered in DC by Our LGBTQIA+ Therapists
All of our counseling services are LGBTQIA-inclusive and designed to be a place of support. Our services include therapy for developing identities and self-esteem, depression treatment, therapy for stress & anxiety, as well as executive function support. We also offer couples therapy for those who are looking to grow in their relationships. We would love to chat with you today about the ways we can support your growth at our counseling practice serving the Washington, DC area and Online in Virginia!
