Self-Esteem Boosting Tips for People With ADHD
Written By: Jessica Attas, LICSW, LCSW
Navigating a world that is built for neurotypical people can be challenging and even isolating! It is not uncommon for people with ADHD to experience difficulties when trying their hardest to meet the expectations of society, employers, family, and friends. You may have faced criticism from others about how you did something despite doing your best to meet their expectations.
These experiences may have left you feeling frustrated, embarrassed, sad, demoralized, or discouraged.
People with ADHD typically develop a harsher inner critic due to constant worry that they are being “too much” or are doing something wrong. These cycles of insecurity and doubt can be difficult to cope with.
Learning strategies to be compassionate towards yourself can help you release some of the burdens you carry and to free up space for you to show up more authentically, and engage in the parts of life that are important to you. Here are a few strategies that you can use to help you be kinder to yourself:
Give Yourself Credit
How often do you find yourself thinking about all of the things you should be doing? When we think of all of the shoulds, it can bring up feelings of disappointment. Instead of focusing on all of the things that are on your to-do list, reflect on your accomplishments. Keeping a running list of your “wins” or challenges you have overcome can be a helpful reminder of everything you are capable of when you are feeling down! Celebrate your feats by taking time to praise yourself, you’re a card-carrying member of humanity who is worthy of a win, take some stock of yours and pride yourself along the way!
Stop Unfairly Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing ourselves to others is a natural tendency. Comparing ourselves to others can help us assess where we are in life, and observe the dissonance between that and where we want to be. This process can be a bit of a double-edged sword because comparing ourselves to others can negatively affect how we see ourselves. The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, notice how these comparisons make you feel in the moment, and how it affects your self-esteem.
If you find that comparison is becoming a thief of your joy, take some time to think about your strengths, achievements, admirable qualities, and how far you have come on your life journey. Don’t forget that even the most outwardly confident person you know struggles with some level of insecurity, and your behind-the-scenes challenges don’t stand a chance to be the highlight reel that social media and public personas can have you wanting to covet. Reframing these thoughts to focus on your strengths can help you feel more empowered!
Challenge Yourself!
Think about all of the challenges you have overcome when ADHD has made life difficult. Living with ADHD can make you doubt your ability to do hard things. Challenging yourself to do something out of your comfort zone, or learn a new skill can help you feel more capable and confident. Set a goal for yourself such as enrolling in a course you’re interested in, beginning a new hobby, or socializing in a new setting! Challenging yourself to attempt something new and unfamiliar can be a self-esteem boost, and if getting started is difficult try envisioning how you’ll feel once you do the hard thing.
Spend Time With People Who Build You Up!
Take some time to reflect on the people in your life and how they make you feel. Surround yourself with people who make you feel seen, validated, understood, and worthy. While it can be difficult to set boundaries with those you love, try to assess how certain people in your life are making you feel, and where you may need to check in on creating healthy boundaries. If you feel the people in your network just don’t understand how ADHD affects your interpersonal relationships, send them resources to learn more. Learning about ADHD and developing an understanding of how neurodivergence affects you can decrease feelings of isolation. Play an active role in creating a network of people who build you up by armoring your support system with information so they can be better allies on your ADHD journey.
Find Spaces Where You Can Flourish!
Cultivating a sense of belonging is an important aspect of improving self-esteem and self-worth. Engaging in spaces where others have similar lived experiences can be incredibly healing. Not having to explain why you do things a certain way and surrounding yourself with people who “get it” can help decrease feelings of being alone and misunderstood. Joining an in-person or online support group, following reputable neurodivergent content creators on social media, or working with an ADHD-competent therapist can help you feel less alone.
Begin Therapy for Self-Esteem in Washington, DC
Taking the first step towards improving your self-esteem may be daunting, and it is not something that can be accomplished overnight. Remember to be patient with yourself in the process. If you find you need additional support on your journey with managing ADHD, our skilled therapists are here to help! We are happy to offer support from our Washington, DC-based practice. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Schedule a consultation with us using our contact form.
Meet with one of our skilled therapists.
Start coping with stress in healthier ways!
Other Services Offered At The Sterling Group
Therapy for self-esteem isn’t the only service we offer. Our team understands there are multiple issues that may require different mental health services. This is why our counseling practice believes in healing for the whole self. Our skilled therapists offer a range of services related to your healing including couples therapy, trauma therapy, and self-discovery. We help folks struggling with anxiety, depression, life transitions, executive function, and ADHD struggles. Additionally, we can provide boundary-setting therapy, LGBTQ+ therapy, life transition therapy, as well as individual counseling for relationship issues. We hope that you’ll reach out to us to get started with counseling and we can’t wait to hear from you.
